![]() Your grandma left it to you! You didn't earn it!ĭidn't earn it?! What about all the years I spent making Grandma like me?! All the wet spit-filled kisses I put up with?! The constant smell of aspirin and pee?! Don't tell me I didn't earn it, you son of a bitch! HA! If you need money, you can get a JOB, Stan! No freeloaders are gonna take my hard-earned cash! Would you mind stepping aside? I have a purchase to make.ĭude, can you loan me twenty bucks for a new jacket? Not much, just taking my one million dollars out of the bank. Excuse me son, I'm an investment broker I can help you invest that money.Įric, God could sure use that money for a bigger church. Cartman leads the others out of the bank and down the street. On the one thing that I've wanted ever since I could remember. Don't you think you should keep it in the bank instead of at your house? See how the light reflects the spearmint green from its surface.Įric, that is a lot of money. Nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred, one million. Nine hundred ninety nine thousand four hundred, nine hundred ninety nine thousand five hundred.ĭamn, Ned, I've never seen that much cash. Garrison, Principal Victoria, Chef, and others are there. Inside, a banker counts the money out in $100 bills. (No, swear to God it's true! Cartman's got a million dollars!) ![]() (Because! His grandmother just died and her will says Cartman now has a million dollars!) Panting(You guys! You guys! You gotta come down to Cartman's house! You hear Cartman got a million dollars from his Grandma!) "No, please! I promise I'll never make another album or movie!" "There you are, Jennifer Lopez!" "You've been most uncooperative, Ms. A car with a woman seated in it appears on a hill since I was th-three years old it has been my dream to have one million dollars.Įgh. D-Does this mean that I.have.one million dollars? "Eric is the primary benefactor of my estate, since it is likely the rest of you would spend the money on crack." "For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one million dollars, to be transferred to you immediately." ![]() Oh, God, do you have to embarrass me even in death, Grandma?! "To my grandson Eric: You are always my favorite fat little man, my perfect round little pudding-piler." "To my loving son, Stinky: I leave you the house in Nebraska. "And so I leave my stocks and bonds, worth an estimate fourteen dollars and twelve cents, to be divided amongst my loving family." No, sweetie, we have to tend to some of Grandma's business. God! She didn't take this long to die.Īnd now we release the doves to symbolize the Lord taking Mabel into his arms and giving her everlasting peace. Why couldn't the funeral have been on a school day?Īnd now, let us bow our heads in a moment of silence and reflect on how Mabel touched our lives. She was a good woman, a community leader, a caring wife, a providing mother, and a loving grandmother And so it is with heavy hearts that we say good-bye to Mabel Louise Cartman. The camera pans down to a funeral scene in a cemetery with robust trees It is located here! CastĪ bright, sunny day, with some clouds in the sky. The official script for " Cartmanland" was released by South Park Studios. " Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow/Script"
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